Grand Gesture

2006 found me at the end of a four year relationship. The breakup left me raw and reeling and years out of the grind that is the NYC single’s scene. Dating, the thing I had once been so great at, was now something that had me looking like Alecia Silverstone in bad lighting. My first dip back in the dating pool was with a Brooklyn Heights dwelling lawyer, five years my senior. YES, FIVE YEARS, not twenty, not thirty…
On our fourth date I had decided I couldn’t wait forever, things move fast in New York! I gave my bedroom a once over, making sure to gather all my colored pencils and pens. Today was a big day with Lawyer man, today I was going to finally let him…
Unfortunately, Lawyer Man had been under the impression that the zoo was a euphamism… Haha, what a funny joke. Undaunted I snatched up my sketchbook and grabbed my metro card, “Let’s get a move on, mister!” Lawyer man stood there confused, so confused. Poor lawyer man.


Opening statements were made. Members of the court took the stand. Things got heated, not in a way lawyer man had hoped. In what some may call an overly dramatic move, Lawyer Man raised his arms, waving them about his head and taking off around the perimeter of my home, a little toy helicopter in an ascott tie. It was later revealed that lawyer man thought he was simply presenting evidence to the jury. We at the Penthouse at Court knew that this was most surely his closing argument. Undaunted he asserted this gem,
“Look, I am not your babysitter.”
He immediately knew that he was on his way to contempt, mapped by the look of well… contempt on my face. I gladly kicked his $400 pants to the curb, LBH, he was going to wreck them in the Gorilla Keep anyway. On a high-note, I had a great day alone at the zoo.
Flash forward a week and a half and what to my wondering eyes do appear but Lawyer Man, sitting on the stoop at the Penthouse at Court. The jury was not out. This case was closed. I stood there confused. So confused. “What can I do to make this up?”
I refrained from singing “True Colors” opting to instead step back and truly think. What would it take? I hummed the second verse of Cyndi Lauper while crystalizing the blueprint that had started to take shape in my mind’s eye. This morning’s prompt at Illustration Friday summoned this memory and resulted in this sketch. Needless to say, Lawyer Man never delivered, that is why I own a chicken and not a pony.

9 replies »

  1. Her expression is priceless.

    I always dreamed of such a gesture as a kid. But it never happened, so I saved up all my money and bought my neighbours horse when I was 13. My folks were not impressed. It took me a good year to save up for a saddle and bridle, so I fell off a lot in that first year.

  2. I'm not interested in anyone who wouldn't go to the zoo with me. Zoos are the best!

    And your chicken is lovely. It reminds me of my friend's chicken, Gertrude Poultry.

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